Finding and maintaining your yandere
We’ve all seen it happen in games, anime and manga, but how do we know it’s not happening to us? How do we know that we’re not being targeted by a yandere who wants desperately to be ours? I’m going to help you find your Only True Love.
1. Nice or sweet girls have a higher chance of being yandere.
2. Pay close attention to the girls you find yourself coming into contact with, even if it’s seemingly harmless or irrelevant. The yandere is quite driven to make contact, but her overriding paranoia will make her subtle.
3. Once you’ve established likely candidates, try talking to them. If she drifts out of the conversation or if you sense she is getting bored — it’s not a yandere. While doing this, keep an eye out for girls watching you from the sidelines.
4. After establishing a rapport via conversation, ask the suspect(s) to come to your home. The yandere will always agree — however, a non-yandere who happens to like you may also agree to this.
5. When you get her in your home you have to test her. How eager is she to do that extra mile to make a good impression — pushy offers to cook, clean, or do something else, typically with a subservient attitude, are all positive signs of yandere-hood.
6. The yandere will be the girl who you notice coming over to visit afterwards on innocent pretexts, usually wanting to do chores for you as she feels doing this will entrench her into your life.
7. Confess to her. She will agree immediately. Many yanderes can be found out at this stage if they lose their self-control and become sexually aggressive.
8. If not already discovered in the last step, try to create a scenario in which the yandere may suspect your fidelity. Her reaction to this will settle her as a yandere — violent outbursts, jealous rages against the other girl, etc.
9. Pacify with sex. Congratulations, you are now attached to the rarest and finest of all sex types!
Know how to maintain your yandere, it could save your life (and your neighbour’s)!
1. Becomes unusually aggressive in seeking sex, she’s probably done something bad and is now looking to celebrate her latest victory over the forces trying to take you away from her or ruin her happiness.
2. Becoming obnoxiously chatty, it means she’s becoming stressed but it’s not at the critical phase yet. Fix with some attention and re-assurances.
3. Stalks you — this is absolutely normal behavior for her; if she couldn’t stalk you she would become quickly stressed.
4. Gets angry at you: her yanderu is emerging, and it’s now critical that you bring her back down. Provide re-assurances, attention and sex constantly until she has no more signs of stress.
5. Becomes abnormally illogical or displays strange behavior: she is at the breaking point and is about to have a psychotic episode. Her emotions are in control at this point, and she’s suffering greatly. She must be detained and made to hear your voice or she will eventually collapse.
6. Loses the light out of her pupils: she’s lost it and she knows she can kill. She’s fallen to a psychotic episode and in an effort to take back control of her mind she surrenders to her emotional impulse to kill, destroy or hurt. In this state she has more presence of mind, but her logic will become almost child-like. You must not display any fear or weakness, and you must talk to her gently while holding her gaze firmly. Her episode will subside.
Consequences of not treating your Yandere girl well:
1) Injury – Although your yanderekko loves you more than the air itself, she will occasionally lose it, and it is those moments that you have to be extra vigilant. Love can hurt, and if she was doing something like cooking, cutting your hair, lawnwork, or even knitting, then she has access to a deadly weapon. It is your job to make sure she puts it down and listens to you. Be careful here, or you might accidentally lose an eye.
2) Captivity – If you really really wuv your girl, this one probably won’t happen, although there are a few special exceptions. Mostly, this applies to a guy who either never wanted, or is no longer able to handle the attention of a yandere gal, and has managed to push her into thinking she is about to lose him. Although alot of times this may force a violent response, there is a good chance that she will merely restrain you. At best, you might be tied to a chair in the kitchen for a while, as she tries to remind you why you are meant to be together ’til death. At worst, you will never see the light of day again in her special awesome dungeon where she won’t even so much as let you take a whizz by yourself. There are some who might even relish this level of attention, but it indicates only the first crack in the yandere’s psyche, and just tends to get worse from here.
3) Your friends/family ‘vanish’ – the most important part with most yandere, is that you are only paying attention to her. Only her, always her, all the time her. While there are a few who understand that you knew other people before you met, most yandere girls will find every other person you interact with as an affront to your special bond. Especially if these people are female. Be sure to find out very quickly what your girl thinks of the other girls in your life, even if its just a naggy little sister, unless you want to lose each and every one of them to an unfortunate meat cleaver ‘accident’.
4) She dies – This is perhaps the rarest of consequences, but still worth a mention. Usually, anyone who truly loves their yandere won’t have to deal with this, but if you are the type to mess around alot, this could happen. Not every yandere is automatically going to try and hurt you or others in order to achieve what she wants, some will immediately fall into a state of hopelessness. Once there, the idea of suicide is never far away. Not just any suicide either, it simply won’t do unless you are able to see her die; consider it her final act of love that may or may not scar you forever.
5) You die – If you reached this consequence, lets face it, you fucked up. You were cheating on her, spending too much time with that neighborhood girl, or doting on your little sister a little bit too much, but you most certainly did something! This is usually a final resort, even for a yandere, meaning that you have been deemed completely unsalvagable in her eyes and there is no other way for her to get rid of the pain in her heart than by ending you. Suicide may follow, although that is probably not very important to mention at this point. A small note, you may have also been very unlucky on the draw and gotten a yandere that snaps just a little bit easily. In this case, your death is probably not too far off.
– Credits go to a post by ‘unknown’ please see this thread in the forums for related reading.